This Was Tough

Today, I had to make a very tough decision and walk away from my job. It was by no means an easy decision, as I've been there over three years and during that time have had the pleasure to meet many kind and fascinating people. Sure, there were people who were very unsavory and were hard to deal with, but when you're in that kind of business (managing a liquor store), that has to be expected. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't in love with my job. We all have issues with our jobs, that's why it's called work. But for 3 years, it was pretty much all I did. Some weeks, I spent more time there than I did my own home.

I always expected that I would leave under much more graceful circumstances, rather than a dark cloud. But as anyone will tell you, life rarely goes as planned. A simple enough situation snowballed into something much more significant, and at the end, my employer suggested to me that perhaps we should part ways. I was reluctant to do so at first, but soon afterwards, after digesting the entire conversation, I realized that it was untenable for me to continue working there. Under better circumstances, I would have given a notice, I would have been glad to. But when your boss was just talking about cutting you loose a few days earlier, for me personally, I just wanted to get it over with and get down to looking for my next job. I couldn't possibly have stayed there for two more weeks.

What just made it so much worse was that during our initial conversation, and in our final moments today, my boss made what I'd have to call false and baseless accusations about my conduct at the store. This hurt me tremendously, and will for a long time. I prided myself, and always will, on my professionalism and willingness to do my job. Regardless of how I've felt at any of my jobs over the years, I never did them half-assed and always put forth my best effort. At the store, I never failed to smile and kindly greet a customer, chit-chat with them, and tell them to have a nice day. Customers have complimented me on my pleasant nature many times; some of them have even said they came to the store because I was there. You don't know how much that means when someone you don't even really know says that to you. But according to my employer, I told many customers that I was unhappy at the store and bitched about it. I will always be in awe at how untrue this is. Sure, when you're working a retail position for 3 years, no matter how nice you are, some people are going to walk away feeling less than positive. I have had my bad days, and I admit that a handful of people might have unhappy, for whatever reason, with me. But I never made it a habit of telling customers that I was unhappy at my job.

I could say more, but I'll end it here. I didn't know whether I should post about this or not, but it was a big part of my life for three years, so I might as well, if only just for myself. This morning, when I woke up and realized that this would be my last day, I reached for the U2 album, All That You Can't Leave Behind, and played Track 4, which I haven't heard enough of. It's a great song, and famous in its own right, but I just never listened to it that much. But today, I just thought of this song. It's "Walk On".